Books and Videos To Help You Respond To Hostile Communications

Have you ever asked yourself:

  • What can I do to stop harassing emails?
  • Why does she keep sending me hateful texts?
  • How can I resolve workplace drama?
  • Can I ignore angry people?
  • What do I do about customer hostility?
  • How do I deal with people who respond so negatively?
  • Is there a way to de-escalate this horrible text exchange?

If this sounds familiar, you’ve come to the right place for help. Our products teach you how to get control of hostile communications, especially when they are in writing. The High Conflict Institute has taught the BIFF Response method for over 7 years and it is changing the conversation in divorce cases, in the workplace, between neighbors and among family members, just to name a few.



The BIFF Book: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Emails and Social Media Meltdowns

    New Release
  Available Now

biff230We live in an age of rapid change and instant communication and in a culture of blame and disrespect, so managing your responses to high-conflict people is imperative. BIFF was designed to protect you and your reputation by responding quickly and civilly to people who treat you rudely – while being reasonable in return. BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm.

A BIFF response can be applied in any communication – on the Internet, in email or in person. It can be used at work, earning you respect and success. It can help you get along with difficult family members, friends, neighbors and others in your life. This little book gives over 20 examples of BIFF responses, plus additional tips to help you deal with high-conflict people anywhere. The second edition includes a new chapter on coaching others to make BIFF Responses.  Don’t react or defend –just give a BIFF Response. You’ll be respected for it – and feel good too!

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Other Books, CDs and DVDs

Presented by the High Conflict Institute and Unhooked Books

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Videos & DVDs

How to Write a BIFF ResponseSM

writebiff150Sick and tired of hostile emails? Personal attacks? Social media meltdowns? This 20-minute video teaches a simple, but powerful method of writing responses that are Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm. These are called “BIFF Responses” and make YOU look good! It takes practice, but almost anyone can do it. Learn how to deal with drama queens on Facebook, harassing co-workers, difficult family members and more.   See Online Access Instructions for Video Training
     Video Training      Get The DVD      FREE Video Preview


Coaching for BIFF Responses 

A 50-minute video that teaches a 10-question model for coaching other people how to write coachbiffresponseBIFF responses. This training helps you improve your BIFF skills and your coaching skills and includes examples of coaching everyday people to use the BIFF Response Method. It’s not as easy as it looks! For anyone working with people: lawyers, counselors, teachers, managers, healthcare workers, administrators, clergy, government officials – or anyone!  See Online Access Instructions for Video Training
     Video Training      Get The DVD      FREE Video Preview


Calming Upset People with E.A.R.


A perfect complement to giving and understanding BIFF responses. This 60-minute video explains how to give an E.A.R. Statement – communicating Empathy, Attention and Respect – when dealing in-person with an angry, blaming or agitated person. The brain science behind the method is explained, as well as ways to deliver an E.A.R. Statement, issues to avoid and nonverbal behavior you can use. This video includes practice scenarios with an angry client in a divorce and in the workplace, with examples of E.A.R. Statements. (PowerPoint Handout available to purchasers upon request to  See Online Access Instructions for Videos
     Video Training      FREE Video Preview

R U Talkin’ to the Wrong Brain?


We have two brains when it comes to conflict - one that’s smart for logical problem-solving and the other that’s fast in a crisis but not so smart. In this fascinating video, Bill Eddy explains how you can choose which brain you will use, and how to influence the way an upset person’s brain will respond to you. Learn why some people just don’t get it and how you can learn to “talk to the right brain” in order to have a productive conversation with a high conflict person. (PowerPoint Handout available to purchasers upon request to  See Online Access Instructions for Videos
     Video Training      FREE Video Preview

What's Your Proposal: Teaching Clients Negotiation Skills

Woman300dpiThis 60-minute video explains a simple method for teaching clients (or yourself) how to make proposals, ask questions about each other’s proposals, answer questions and provide information, and how to respond to proposals with “Yes” “No” or “I’ll think about it.” It includes several clips demonstrating the method, including an attorney and resistant client and two bickering people making proposals and responding to them during mediation. This method emphasizes dealing with high-conflict and upset people by redirecting them when they shift back and forth into blaming. It can be used by anyone negotiating with an easily angered person. (PowerPoint Slides Handout available to purchasers upon request to See Online Access Instructions for Videos
     Video Training      FREE Video Preview

Is Divorce Mediation for You?

IDMFYThis 1-hour video helps answer common questions, such as:

    -  What is the most informed way, at the least expense, to get divorced?
    -  Would I do better in mediation or in court?
    -  What are the standards for support and children’s issues?
    -  Could I make reasonable decisions with my spouse sitting in the same room?
    -  How does divorce mediation work?

For anyone in a divorce or thinking about one. The video demonstrates controversies from real cases and how a neutral mediator guides a controlled mediation process. The parties raise issues, ask questions of the mediator and each other, make proposals and make decisions. Disagreements, anger, surprise events, tears and significant progress are all highlighted.   See Online Access Instructions for Video Training
     Video Training         FREE Video Preview


About Bill Eddy

eddysmBill Eddy is a therapist (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) and a lawyer (Certified Family Law Specialist). Bill has been practicing family mediation for approximately 30 years. He is a Founding Board Member of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators and the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center based in San Diego, California.

He is also the author of several books including High Conflict People in Legal Disputes and Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Bill is President of the High Conflict Institute, which provides training in New Ways for Mediation, New Ways for Families and other programs for managing high-conflict personalities in many settings.   

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The CARS Method®, BIFF Response®, New Ways for Families®, New Ways for WorkSM, New Ways for MediationSM and EAR StatementSM are trademarks or service marks of William A. Eddy d/b/a High Conflict Institute.


© 2017 William A. Eddy d/b/a High Conflict Institute. All rights reserved.